So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
