Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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