i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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