I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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