i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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