im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
