i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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