this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
