Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
