Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you will always have a special place in my vag
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize