I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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