my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So here I am, sexting at work.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
