I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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