Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
