it hurts more in the daytime
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
