Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
