i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
