I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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