shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
