Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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