The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
