my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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