Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
