the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
