Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
