I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
