Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
YAS. BRING CRAB.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
