you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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