So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
