32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
