this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
