Duck Duck Cougar?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
