i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
