So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
