lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
