Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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