am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
