Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
