shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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