I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
