You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
