Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
