I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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