i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
