I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You can't special order awesome
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
