Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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