you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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