Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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