Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
