Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
