That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
