He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
