i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
