She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
